Friday, July 29, 2005

Good Squirrel Mojo

I have got to update more often. Especially when looking at the counter, it seems some people are actually reading this nonsense. Well, they're visiting if not actually staying around to read.

Anyways, in a fit of cosmic alignment the Bad Squirrel Mojo blog has an actual Red Squirrel. We've named him Speedy Bob. Speedy Bob was the squirrel that lived in our campsite last year. According to my four-year-old, this is the same critter that has taken up residence in the garage. So, welcome aboard Speedy Bob. Please contribute.

This brings me to a conundrum. My job dictates that I answer a whole bunch of phone calls that start out with "There's a squirrel in my yard (garage, attic, swimming pool, sandbox etc...) how do I get rid of it?" Normally I tell the person to calm down, it's only a squirrel, keep the potential food away and board up the entrance to his hole when you see him leave.

The garage that has become the new home for Speedy Bob is detached so he isn't going to end up in the living room. So, do I let him stay or force him out? He's not hurting anything and unless he moves into the bag holding the tent, he can't really do any damage. On the other hand... Get the hell out of my garage Speedy Bob. You're a squirrel dammit, not some homeless street person looking for a dry place to spend the night.

Whatever. He can stay for now. I kind of like him. Probably won't be much of a security force for the garage though. I wonder if I can rent payment in some form other than spruce tree seeds.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Hello Insanity. Come On In.

I need a word. A perfect word. A word that would not normally appear on this blog (because my mom may actually read this someday and while I use every word in the book when talking to her, somehow putting them in print is different.)

Anyways, the word...

The word for the day is...


In capitals.


Sandra Day O'Connor has resigned. Dubya gets to nominate a Supreme Court Justice. He's gonna be acting like weasel in an unguarded chicken coop (or a security guard at Gitmo). This right-wing, Christian Conservative bonehead gets to decide who gets to be on the Supreme Court of the United States of America. You just know its going to be one of Scalia's golfin' and drinkin' buddies.

Women of the world, kiss off your right to choose what you do with your bodies.

Minorities, fuel up the truck and cross the Northern border because the constitution - especially the part about civil liberties - may just get interpreted a little more conservatively.

Gay folks, give up on gay marriage for the next three - eight years. Maybe a democrat will win the White House next time and there'll be some hope for you.

Gun control advocates, keep low.

I think I'll go into business shipping statues of the ten commandments over the border. Chances are there will be a whole bunch of government buildings that are gonna want 'em.

I knew I'd need that word here someday.