Tuesday, June 14, 2005


I went to WalMart last night.

Let me put a different spin on that.

Last night, in an effort to purchase toilet paper and Rubbermaid drink boxes at 9:30pm, I descended into one of the deeper layers of hell. As you can imagine, this was not a voluntary trip.

I loathe WalMart. With every fibre of my being I despise WalMart. The thought of having to inch my car through their oil-soaked wasteland of a parking lot makes me shudder. Envisioning standing in line, watching the ever so slow cashier mindlessly scan plastic crap through her laser guided god, all the while being subjected to the acrid body-odour of the wife-beater wearing, NASCAR-hatted redneck in front of me... well that's just enough to make me weep.

There is nothing redeeming about WalMart. As an artificial micro-climate baking in the summer sun WalMart offers tight passage ways, harsh lighting, uselessly under trained and underpaid staff and mostly substandard, under warranteed plastic crap.

As a monolithic, community devouring, economic whore WalMart offers a glimpse into the mind of Mephistopheles himself. With their mantra of "get the money, get the money, get the money" being sold to you as "save money, save money, save money", WalMart is stealing your community soul as surely as Pat Robertson believes the devil is after your personal soul.

And there, there I stood, on a rainy Monday night. Buying toilet paper. I supposed buying a product designed to clean up well... feces, is an appropriate thing to do at WalMart. Lord knows they spread and we consume enough of it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

-sparroweye- I hate Walmart with a passion. And I hate that they have the cheapest sunflower seed around. I try and go in the middle of the week, in the back door by the nursery and zip back out. I think I'm going to switch to tractor supply.

7:31 p.m.  
Blogger littlemissrandom said...

I love your posts Wheatie. They make me believe that there really are still people out there who really do care.

6:31 p.m.  

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